Lessons of the feast of St. Valentine

Well, live and learn. I’ve always believed that Valentine’s Day was the creation of folks like Hallmark Cards, so they could sell more cards and mushy stuff. I figured that Valentine’s Day was the synthetic creation of some wayward, unscrupulous marketing guru, created just so corporate America could sell more greeting cards. Was I ever wrong. I was even more astounded to learn that Valentine’s Day is a religious holiday going way back to the time of the Roman Emperors. The religious denominations that formally recognize Valentine’s Day in their liturgical calendars are; Anglicans, Lutherans, Presbyterians, the Eastern Orthodox Church, and until fairly recently the Catholics.

St. Valentine’s Day began as a liturgical celebration of one, and maybe more, early Christian Saints named Valentinus. The record is unclear because it is so old, but the most popular legend associated with Saint Valentine was that he was imprisoned for performing weddings for soldiers who were forbidden to marry, and for ministering to Christians, who were persecuted mightily under the Roman Emperor; during his imprisonment he is credited with healing the daughter of his jailer. Legend states that just before he was executed, way back in 250 C.E., he wrote her a farewell note and closed with “from your Valentine,” and thus became the first Valentine ever written.

It is commonly accepted that Saint Valentine was persecuted as a Christian and personally interrogated by Roman Emperor Claudius II. Claudius was personally impressed by Valentine and carried on a series of discussions with him, hoping to convert him to follow the law of the land and convert to paganism, thus saving his life. Unfortunately, St. Valentine refused his offer and had the gall to try to convert Claudius to Christianity, which proved to be a less than prudent decision. Claudius became livid with St. Valentine and sentenced him to death, affording him the opportunity to send the first valentine to the daughter of his jailer.

The first time Valentine’s Day was associated with romantic love was in the High Middle Ages, when the early English writer, Geoffrey Chaucer, wrote of it in one of his poems – back when the tradition of courtly love flourished. By the 1400s, Valentine’s Day had evolved into an occasion in which lovers expressed their love for each other by presenting flowers, giving cookies and other bakery treats, and sending greeting cards (known as valentines). Please note that the men did not give their lovers cleaning tools, household cooking items, and other “useful” gifts that could be easily misconstrued by the aforementioned female lovers.

That is a good example to follow. Men – do not give your lover anything that requires work-like activity to operate correctly, like blenders, mixers, vacuum cleaners, etc. For example, even if she is a lumberjack, do not give her a nice sharp axe or chain saw. With the vicissitudes of life and love, and if your future behavior is not up to her expectations, you may meet that axe or saw again sometime in the future when sentiments have eroded.

The problem is that men generally don’t have a clue about what gifts to give their sweethearts (who should be their wives they if are married.) Household appliances, tools, rifles and handguns (even if you’ve been yearning for one), skimpy underwear, and food items (other than candy and chocolate covered strawberries) can all be unexpectedly hazardous to relationships. Even if the little missus enjoys hunting and fishing, I would not recommend giving firearms, bayonets, filleting knives, etc., even if she professes the desire for one.

A good rule of thumb to follow is successful examples found in history: give jewelry with heart-shaped outlines, doves (not dead or dressed), candles, flowers, and those cute little Cupid-like figurines. Even though hand-written valentines went out of style in the 19th century they are making a bit of a comeback, and offer a more personal and more meaningful message that the mass-produced Valentine cards. However, if you can’t write or spell well, and are inept at expressing meaningful sentiments of love, it’s probably better to go with a preprinted card.

Of course, Valentine’s Day isn’t only for lovers. Expressing our love to our children, grandchildren, and other family members is also meaningful and important. It goes without saying that we need to express our heartfelt love and appreciation to our children, grandchildren, parents and other family members.

The U.S. Greeting Card Association, which keeps records on such things, estimates that over 190 million valentines are sent throughout the United States every year. Half of those valentines are given to family members other than husband and wife, usually to children and grandchildren. When valentine exchanges in schools are included, the number of valentines given each year goes up to a billion, and teachers are the people who receive the most.

These days, the rising popularity of the Internet is also creating new Valentine’s Day traditions, with the giving of e-cards, love coupons, and printable greeting cards. Last year, over 20 million of them were sent out.

So, this Valentine’s Day, be sure to exchange cards and gifts with your love. Guys, gifts can include flowers and roses and chocolates packed in those red satin, heart-shaped boxes. As I mentioned earlier, diamonds and jewelry also make wonderful gifts of love.

Most importantly, just say, “I love you.” Valentine’s Day is, above all, a day in which we can express and share our love. After all, love is something we could all use more of.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Sweetcakes. I love you.