Opinion:The question: To drink or not to drink?

Now that November 5 is just around the corner and voting in the upcoming liquor election has commenced – with a pretty good turnout – there is little time remaining for additional discussion on the issue in question. Really, it’s probably a good thing, since things are getting a little out of hand. Now is a good time to wrap things up and get to the polls.

Some claims of the “naysayers,” for lack of a better word, have stretched the credibility of the folks making such dire, destructive proclamations. For example, I’m fairly certain that Claude has not, and will not, become a “destination drinking paradise” in which drunks and winos from around the area, perhaps even around the country, will suddenly descend upon Armstrong County like a pestilence of biblical proportions. Actually, since Armstrong County only passed a version of the liquor laws that allows for package stores, and not liquor by the drink, Claude will be similar to Clarendon as it now is.

Granted, I’m not sure about the three who tarried – those three “winos” who were discovered sleeping in Claude’s nice city park. That sure won’t happen here, lest those who sleep it off in our park end up with a backside full of goat heads and grass burrs. Anyway, as usual, I digress.

Back to the less civil and cordial discussion of the issues. Last week, while seeking sober solace from the trials of the world at a local establishment, I was actually verbally accosted by a person whom I had always assumed was a good, level-headed man. He gave me the Clint Eastwood stare, stated, “I’ve been laying for you,” and then actually accused me of being a blasphemer. Really? Blasphemer? Me? Hmm.

I won’t say who this person is. He needs to brush up on his theology if he is going to call me a blasphemer. The biblical definition of blasphemer is much different that the dictionary definition. For a moment there, I thought I was in some sort of space, time warp in which I was actually conversing with a Jewish Pharisee.

Well, now that I have that out of my system, I feel much better and am ready to point out that alcohol consumption is usually a pleasant endeavor, filled with joyous good cheer, and pleasant conversation. People drink for a reason.

The consumption of alcohol accompanies many of our most dear and heart-felt social and familial rites. We have toasts at weddings and anniversary celebrations. We drink alcohol to celebrate the birth of babies and at special events. We consume fine wines at formal dinners, and that fine wine enhances our dining experience.

Imagine going down to the pizza parlor and ordering a cold, frosty pitcher of beer to go with a steaming, fully laden pizza. That folks is drinking at its finest. Or, say we all head down to the restaurant and order a big frozen margarita to accompany our Mexican plate. If you prefer, have a Lone Star Long Neck or Shiner Bock beer instead.

To me, the best use of alcohol is simply three-fingers of Wild Turkey straight up. Three-fingers, or at the worst, six-fingers of Wild Turkey takes the edge off, loosens the vocal cords, and allows me to wax poetic into the wee hours of the morning. That folks is living high. It’s good and God is not going to smite me dead for enjoying great American bourbon.

Of course, the “naysayers” must think that we are all going to suddenly drink ourselves into the dirt, become destructive, and radically increase our licentious behavior. Well, sadly to say, that is only a pipe dream for most of us. It just isn’t going to happen.

Over the course of my life, I’ve spent many wonderful years in professional soccer. After every game, the players and coaches from both teams would meet in a local pub for drinks and camaraderie. I’ve spent enormous sums of time and money in pubs from the West Coast to the East Coast. In all those years, and in all those pubs and drinking places scattered around this fine nation, I have never witnessed anything remotely close to what has been proclaimed by the “naysayers.”

Regardless of what has been said, let’s all accept the outcome of this election graciously and get on with our lives. Like I’ve said, I don’t really care which way this election goes. I’m 65 years-young and have no intention of again frequenting bars and pubs. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want others to experience some of the joys and wonders that occur in drinking places if they choose to do so.

For those who are against liquor by the drink, I understand their fears and concerns, as unlikely as they are to prove accurate. Sure, there will be a few issues, but nothing as severe as forecast.